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| Overthinking kills peace choose freedom. |
Lewis had completed a job application but
was skeptical about sending it, three days after completing the fully optimized
application he could not send. Each time he will open his computer and kept
starring at it. The thoughts will I get the job, what if people who are smarter
have applied for the job, what if I am rejected etc. He went on until the
deadline passed, he never applied. Overthinking can make someone to wait for
certainty that never comes; thus, opportunities are lost not for lack of talent
or ability. Lilian had sent a message to her friend who replied with a short
message. All of a Sudden, her mind started racing with different thought: Did
I offend her? Is she mad with me? Did I say something that is out of place?
She reread their prior chats, replayed conversations in her head, and spent the
entire evening worrying about a problem that might not even exist. The next
day, her friend calmly explained she had been overwhelmed with work.
Overthinking turns small moments into mental battles draining our peace without
our permission.
Dan Millman an American author and former
world champion athlete said, “You don’t have to control your
thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” Some people are of
the notion that they must completely stop negative thoughts in a bid to overcome
overthinking. But in reality, thoughts come and go naturally. Where the problem
starts is when we obey every anxious thought that comes into our mind as if it
were a true. Overthinking is mentally exhausting, it traps you in endless circle
of: what if, maybe, and I should have. This endless loop steals your peace,
drains your energy, and the worst part is that it turns little problems into big
mountains. Unfortunately, many people do not realize how deeply the struggle
affects everyday life. Here is the thing, thinking is useful because it helps
to solve problems but overthinking is not because it keeps you trapped inside
them.
Effects of Overthinking
We started off with the person that wanted
to apply for a job interview but ended up not applying because of overthinking,
he kept delaying, editing and doubting. Overthinking often comes from a desire
to avoid mistakes, pain, or uncertainty and get everything right unfortunately,
life does not work that way, no matter how much time you spend worrying,
replaying situations in your mind, or trying to prepare for every possible trial,
you can never completely control the future, because the future reveals itself
in ways that no human being can perfectly forecast. Overthinking can silently
affect many areas of a person’s life, it drains mental energy, increases
stress, delays decision-making, and can create self-doubt, and emotional tiredness.
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema a psychology
researcher extensively studied rumination (repetitive negative thinking), her
observation: “Rumination magnifies and prolongs depression by enhancing
thinking about negative situations and emotions.” This explains why
overthinking often makes problems feel larger than they really are. The more
people repeatedly dwell on worries, mistakes, or fears, the more emotionally
stuck and mentally exhausted they may become.
How to break free
from Overthinking
Jon Kabat-Zinn an American
professor said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can
learn to surf.” This quote from Kabat-inn is very insightful, you cannot
control everything, but you can learn to handle uncertainty with calm. Thus, breaking
free from overthinking does not mean closing up your mind or never feeling
worried again but rather learning to stop chasing perfect certainty. Trust
yourself enough to take action even when everything is not clear because
waiting for the right time and answers can keep you standing still while
opportunities quietly pass by. You have to take action when you need to,
separate facts from fears, ask yourself what you actually know, and what you
are imagining? This is because many of our worries are stories our minds created
without evidence, question those stories and watch them loose their grip on you.
Another helpful tip is limiting the time you spend inside your thoughts, not every
thought deserves your attention, sometimes a healthiest response is not to
analyze more but to pause, talk to someone you trust, or focus your attention on
what you can control in the present moment.
Final thoughts
It is worthy of note that breaking free
from overthinking begins when you learn to notice your worries without allowing
them to dictate what you do. You can still feel uncertain and move forward, you
can still have doubts and apply for the job, start that project or make the
decision. You don’t have to wait for certainty otherwise you may not move growth
does not come from perfect choices rather it comes from learning, adjusting,
and continuing anyway. Breaking free from overthinking does not mean you will
never worry again, rather it means you have stopped every thought becoming your
master. You learn that thoughts are not commands and can be simply noise
sometimes. So, permit yourself to choose progress over perfection, trust
yourself enough to take actions even when you do not have every answer. Life
becomes lighter when you stop carrying problems that only exist in your head. Freedom
begins with one simple decision: stop living in your head and start living in
your life. The good news is that it is possible to break free and start focusing
on facts instead of fears, taking action instead of endlessly analysing, and
embracing progress over perfection. In this way you can regain your peace of
mind. Your thoughts matter and are very important, but they should not control
your life. Learn how to quiet the noise, trust the process, and take one step
at a time. Peace of mind is not found in having all the answers, predicting
every result, or controlling every detail of life; it is found in learning when
to let go of what you cannot control and trusting yourself to handle what
comes.
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